The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Thanks
POTUS Obama, Save Alderaan Team
Dear President Obama,
As you know Grand Moff Tarkin and Lord Vader are currently threatening to destroy the entire planet of Alderaan. In the name of all that is right, you must immediately order all forces to stand down.
While Washington has always been considered the heart of the Union, Alderaan has been its soul. Alderaan's exotic ecosystem has created both a unique zoology and is home to many of the Union's best and brightest citizens. Many species of animals including nerfs, grazers, and thrantas live exclusively on Alderaan's numerous lakes and marshes. This diverse habitat is also home to more than eight thousand subspecies of grass and an even larger number of wildflowers. As a fount of life of all kinds, Alderaan must be spared.
Imagine the impact on the armed forces. How many in our numbers count themselves as loyal Alderaanian natives? How many would continue to share our zeal for the Union? It is true that the Death Star's superlaser is a cheaper than nation building. However, a man of your wisdom can surely imagine a better way to share the benevolence of the Union with the galaxy.
To protect not only the Union, but also our galactic heritage, I demand that you order Grand Moff Tarkin and Lord Vader to return the Death Star to Washington immediately whereupon it will be decommissioned. Protect the Union by sparing Alderaan, and we will realize our gilded destiny.
Regards,